Reading for Re/Transform8tion

I often wonder if people wonder what pastors do with our "free time." I READ... And if you are interested in what I am currently reading, here is an update. I hope it helps and you will check out some of these books as well.
I tend to read in different areas of interest and growth...

Parenting/ Family
I recently finished Gospel-Powered Parenting by William P. Farley. (4 stars)

Church Health/ Pastoral
Rereading Twelve Challenges Churches Face by Mark Dever (4 stars)
Reading Deep Church: A Third Way Beyond Emerging and Traditional by Jim Belcher

Personal Devotion/ Holiness
Reading Passion by Karl A. Olsson and
A Call to Spiritual Reformation: Priorities from Paul and His Prayers by D.A. Carson

Biography
Reading Filling up the Afflictions of Christ: The Cost of Bringing the Gospel to the Nations in the Lives of William Tyndale, Adoniram Judson, and John Paton by John Piper
Reading The Man Who Moved a Mountain by Richard C. Davids... the story of a pastor in the Blue Ridge Mountains by the name of Bob Childress.

Theology
Slowly reading and comparing Biblical Theology by John Owen and Biblical Theology by Geerhardus Vos
Reading Spiritual Birthline: Understanding How We Experience the New Birth by Stephen Smallman

Enjoy your reading...

"The thesis of this book is that the gospel empowers effective parenting." (p.37)

William Farley has given us another in a long list of parenting books. What makes this one different? I think he explains it well in the opening chapter as he lays out assumptions, or presuppositions that the book (and therefore we) need to deal with in order to move forward with the thesis of the centrality of the Gospel in parenting.

Assumption #1: Effective Christian parents know that parenting will not be easy. You will not and cannot be a perfect parent. "Your sins, failings, and inadequacies produce conflict with your children and misunderstandings with your spouse. At times you will deeply feel this inadequacy." (p. 20)

Our internal inadequacies are just part of the problem. External stresses such as illness, rebellion, talent (or lack thereof) make parenting difficult. And, let's be honest... not every child is easy to love... some take a lot of perseverance just to love them each day.

Effective parents don't expect a cakewalk. They assume it will be difficult but that the end result-- delightful Christ-centered adult children who are married to mates that you actually like-- will make it all worth the effort. (p.21)

Assumption #2: God is sovereign to save... but His preferred means of saving our kids is through parents. We cannot be passive... while we should trust God above all, we must know that we have a responsibility to parent in such a way as to show God to be glorious. "Parents are utterly dependent on God. He can save any child, no matter how dark the circumstances." (p.22) But God uses parents to speak the truth and love of the Gospel into the hearts of their children. "We are utterly dependent and responsible at the same time." (p. 22)

Assumption #3: Effective parenting is on offense... not defense all the time. A prevent defense in a football game can lead to disastrous results. As a team gets a lead, often their mindset changes to preventing a loss instead of pursuing a win. The best defense is a good offense. Parents can fall into the same trap.

Either we can focus on preparing our children to enter the world and conquer it, or we can concentrate on protecting our children from the world... Often this defensive mentality is the fruit of legalism. The legalistic parent usually assumes that his or her children are born again. But this parent has little confidence int he power of new birth. Therefore, parenting is all about protecting the children from evil outside influence. (p. 23)

Obviously, there is some defense that needs to be played in parenting. But our job is not to have our kids fear the world. Our job is to have them TREASURE CHRIST.

In other words, this book will assume that effective parents equip their children to overcome the world-- not by changing and controlling their environment (things external to their children), but by going after their children's hearts. We change their hearts by teaching the gospel, modeling the gospel, and centering our homes on the gospel. The gospel, rightly understood and modeled, makes Christianity attractive. Effective parents make the gospel so attractive that the world cannot get a foothold in their children's hearts. (p. 24)

By contrast, defensive parents have little confidence in the attractiveness of the gospel. They think the world is more powerful. Fundamentally, they are not confident in the gospel's power to transform their children from the inside out. They do not believe Jesus' words, "Take heart, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). They have little confidence in the world-conquering power of new birth.

Assumption #4: Effective parents must understand what new birth in Jesus Christ really is. Most Christian parents assume that their kids are born again. This could be a tragic mistake.

Christian Smith and Melinda Denton have coined the phrase MORALISTIC THERAPEUTIC DEISM to describe the beliefs of many American "Christian" teenagers.

These teens believe in a combination of works-righteousness, religion as psychological well-being, and a distant, noninterfering god. Ironically, many of these young deists are active in their churches... It is important for every Christian parent to discern MTD from Christianity. A child can be compliant and well-behaved, attend Sunday worship, and socialize with the church youth group, but merely possess MTD. Many "nice people are not Christians. Being "nice" has little to do with Christianity. (p. 27)

The facts are staggering... the statistics among so called "evangelical Christian" teenagers show them to be just as sexually active as their non-Christian friends... possibly even MORE ACTIVE. (p. 27) Have your kids experienced the real new birth?

Even a child's testimony that he "accepted Jesus" or "asked Jesus into his heart" means very little. That is because God initiates new birth. Of course, the child is responsible to respond to God with faith and repentance. But a child can go through these steps and not have the saving faith and repentance that point to new birth. That is why it is foolish for parents to presume upon new birth. New birth is a radical change of heart that ushers in new desires, new loves, and a new life direction. (p. 28) See I John 3:9.

Assumption #5: Effective Christian parents are not child-centered. It is possible to love your kids too much. Effective parenting involves being GOD-CENTERED. Is your family CHILD-CENTERED or GOD-CENTERED? Consider these examples.

Ken and Jackie were sincere parents. But their sincerity was their problem. They loved their children. In fact, they loved them too much. The oldest son was a talented athlete. He excelled on the local U16 soccer team. Because the team practiced during the dinner hour, the family stopped eating meals together. They had been in the habit of praying and reading the Bible after meals. This also ended.
Their daughter was an exceptionally talented ballerina. Her lesson were expensive. Ken and Jackie couldn't afford them and tithe at the same time. We will resume tithing when she graduates, they rationalized.
Soon the family was traveling to weekend soccer tournaments. Most were on Sunday, so church attendance became increasingly sporadic... At age sixteen, their daughter began to audition with professional ballet troupes in distant cities. Soon the family was traveling to her weekend auditions.
Eventually the children went off to college. Within a few years they had both quit attending church. They forgot God. They threw themselves into their real interests, athletics and dancing. Ken and Jackie were deeply troubled. What went wrong? What can we do to get our children back?
By contrast, Tim and Angie centered their home in God and His will. Tim told his son's soccer coach, "My son will be available any day but Sunday. I'm sorry if this inconveniences the team, but God is more important to us than soccer." This was a problem. Tim's son was the best player on the the team. They needed him to win. The coach and the other players put tremendous pressure on Tim to compromise, but he refused to budge.
In the same way, when Tim found out that his daughter's piano lessons would be during their family dinner hour, he gently asked her to find another teacher, reminding her that the family dinner hour was sacred. It was the only time for the family to be together, and that family unity was more important than her piano lessons.
Tim's decisions disappointed his children in the short run, but won them for Christ in the long run. Ken and Jackie thought they were loving their children, but they were actually forfeiting their children's respect, driving them away with overindulgence. (pp. 33-34)

Is your family God-centered or Kid-centered? Children will imitate their parents. If God is marginalized in your family in favor of the interests and activities of your children (or yourselves) then your kids will learn from you. When you ask what happened to your kids... they learned it by watching you. What example are you giving your kids to imitate?